Category: identity

Remembering Sarah Baartman and the Rented Negro

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On June 6th, 3 Black women stood in New York’s Union Square holding signs that read,” You can touch my hair.” The photos were posted across social media and debated in the days to follow. (#youcantouchmyhair)

In 1810, Sarah Baartman stood on display while her buttocks and other parts of her barely covered body, were examined in a sideshow. Europeans flocked to marvel at her exhibition, pointing and staring at her exotic parts.

Sarah Baartman had little to no choice and was persuaded to make a “living” being on display until her death in 1816. She was posthumously on display and dissected in France until her remains were finally sent back to South Africa in 2002.

While it is clear from the articles and discussions in the past week that “Un-ruly’s” exhibition was meant as a social experiment and as a way of examining the “tactile fascination”, as they described it, with black hair – I was still (as many black women were and are), a little bit…disturbed.

Upon seeing the discussion on twitter and then viewing the photos on Instagram, I immediately thought of Sarah Baartman.

Black. Woman. On Display.

Voluntary or involuntary, they were being examined, just as Sarah was. They were being looked at and rented, as Damali Ayo might have put it.

You see, the other place my mind went after learning about this “phenomenon” was the bottom of a dresser drawer, where lay a t-shirt that read, “touch your own hair“.20130620-055438.jpg

Pretty simple.

I bought this particular shirt during my Afro days, my “say it loud, I’m Black and I’m proud” days when I needed everyone to know how Black I was. I purchased it from “rent-a-negro.com“, Damali Ayo‘s web-art-performance that allowed people to apply for rental Negroes. The site is now “out of business”, but the shirts are still available, as well as the book version of the site.

In another time (pre-motherhood), I might have stood alongside the women with my t-shirt juxtaposing their signs and behavior.

The best I could do as a response was to post a photo of the shirt.

Looking beyond race, how age appropriate is it for adults to run around touching each others hair. You don’t see 9-5 professionals groping each other at the office, in fact, there are rules against that.

My response to un-ruly might not be congratulatory, but I’m not furious at their exhibition. It did what I believe it was supposed to do. Spark Discussion. Most people might be shy to openly discuss Black hair when asked, so if an exhibit is in a public space and everyone else seems to be doing it. It must be ok…right?

In a time where Kim Khardashian’s baby is at the top of our lists, it was at least refreshing to see a more intellectual debate trying to surface for longer than a week.

Black people throughout the Diaspora are no longer for sale or rent. These days of putting ourselves on display should be coming to an end. I believe discussions of race in this country need to continue and maybe factor in other things, like economic status.

I believe the few non-Blacks that showed interest in touching Black hair were genuinely curious, but …curiosity killed the cat, and if you want to touch my hair, like I said – become a hair stylist.

Remembering Sarah Baartman and the Rented Negro

On June 6th, 3 Black women stood in New York’s Union Square holding signs that read,” You can touch my hair.” The photos were posted across social media and debated in the days to follow. (#youcantouchmyhair)
In 1810, Sarah Baartman stood on display while her buttocks and other parts of her barely covered body, were examined in a sideshow. Europeans flocked to marvel at her exhibition, pointing and staring at her exotic parts.
Sarah Baartman had little to no choice and was persuaded to make a “living” being on display until her death in 1816. She was posthumously on display and dissected in France until her remains were finally sent back to South Africa in 2002.
While it is clear from the articles and discussions in the past week that “Un-ruly’s” exhibition was meant as a social experiment and as a way of examining the “tactile fascination”, as they described it, with black hair – I was still (as many black women were and are), a little bit…disturbed.
Upon seeing the discussion on twitter and then viewing the photos on Instagram, I immediately thought of Sarah Baartman.
Black. Woman. On Display.
Voluntary or involuntary, they were being examined, just as Sarah was. They were being looked at and rented, as Damali Ayo might have put it.

You see, the other place my mind went after learning about this “phenomenon” was the bottom of a dresser drawer, where lay a t-shirt that read, “touch your own hair“.20130620-055438.jpg

Pretty simple.
I bought this particular shirt during my Afro days, my “say it loud, I’m Black and I’m proud” days when I needed everyone to know how Black I was. I purchased it from “rent-a-negro.com“, Damali Ayo‘s web-art-performance that allowed people to apply for rental Negroes. The site is now “out of business”, but the shirts are still available, as well as the book version of the site.
In another time (pre-motherhood), I might have stood alongside the women with my t-shirt juxtaposing their signs and behavior.
The best I could do as a response was to post a photo of the shirt.
Looking beyond race, how age appropriate is it for adults to run around touching each others hair. You don’t see 9-5 professionals groping each other at the office, in fact, there are rules against that.
My response to un-ruly might not be congratulatory, but I’m not furious at their exhibition. It did what I believe it was supposed to do. Spark Discussion. Most people might be shy to openly discuss Black hair when asked, so if an exhibit is in a public space and everyone else seems to be doing it. It must be ok…right?
In a time where Kim Khardashian’s baby is at the top of our lists, it was at least refreshing to see a more intellectual debate trying to surface for longer than a week.
Black people throughout the Diaspora are no longer for sale or rent. These days of putting ourselves on display should be coming to an end. I believe discussions of race in this country need to continue and maybe factor in other things, like economic status.
I believe the few non-Blacks that showed interest in touching Black hair were genuinely curious, but …curiosity killed the cat, and if you want to touch my hair, like I said – become a hair stylist.

The American Navel

I can’t believe it’s been over a week since I’ve posted!

The past few weeks I have been hard at work on my photography business and website! It has certainly “taken over”, in addition to my other familial duties…PLUS we’ve all been ill.  With that said, I have been writing this blog post for over a week in between figuring out my packaging and pricing and all the exciting things I will be offering my photography clients!

So the week before last, while I was figuring out how I will conduct my business, I looked at many photography websites, especially those catering to newborns, babies and young children.

When it came to my bio, I debated whether or not to include a photograph of myself. When I looked around, I found only a handful of photographers without photos of themselves and thought I might as well, even though my initial inclination was not to display one on the site. I felt that I was advertising my work as a photographer – did it really matter what I looked like….?

When I showed the site to my husband, his first comment was, “I don’t think you need your photo”…

I stopped…. annoyed (not at him), that it ALWAYS seemed that when I thought something and did the opposite, maybe I should have done what I was initially going to do. I went on to explain to him that almost all the photography websites I checked out included photos of the photographers and added that it did make sense to me, that a parent would want to see who was photographing their children…. Wouldn’t I??

Maybe a note about my husband would be helpful… He grew up in France, and is for the most part, French… Culturally European (and West African… But the focus here is the European). He then made a comment about Americans…always thinking about their own navel….as if they are the center of their own Universe…. Now.. he’s not the only one who said this – I showed the site to a neighbor of mine – also European and she also asked about my photo.  I chuckled!  Now I’m really  beginning to think it’s a crazy American thing… (side note: I am in no way bashing Americans – I am only pointing out and interested in discussing cultural differences…)

So after some thought I went with my gut… and took my photo down… for now… until I have one that I’m happier with..

But what they were saying complimented each other – my husband was talking about his noticing this culture where we don’t debate topics that stray far from ourselves.  Instead of talking about “Malcolm” (his example), we focus on our lives…  I mean… could my blog be in that category… probably…uh yes… even though I try hard not to..

My neighbor’s comment was particularly concerning if one thought what the had to say was so interesting that we had to share with other people.

Now, I know many people NOT on Facebook and many not concerned with letting others know about their daily ins and outs in what others think, but I don’t know if it’s a purely American thing… It could be an artist thing…  I mean when you work for yourself and write or act or dance or promote yourself, it’s hard to stray from that because YOU are your “brand” – YOU are your own bread.  It could also be a product of our society… “iPhone” “mobile ME”…. “iPod” “iPad”… our everyday products focus on ourselves…

There’s a fine line between just enough me and too much me… but it can be annoying or frustrating maybe to meet people who are constantly thinking about me, myself and I.  We require so much attention these days.  What would be do if we shut off the twitter and Facebook… it seems so rare to have a telephone conversation these days… so much is done by text and I’m not excluding myself (although I’m working hard NOT to make this about me).

I would really like to hear what people think… Are you a perpetrator of constant navel-gazing?… be honest… OR do you avoid it like the plague and attempt to participate in discussions about things other than yourself?

 

The American Navel

I can’t believe it’s been over a week since I’ve posted!

The past few weeks I have been hard at work on my photography business and website! It has certainly “taken over”, in addition to my other familial duties…PLUS we’ve all been ill.  With that said, I have been writing this blog post for over a week in between figuring out my packaging and pricing and all the exciting things I will be offering my photography clients!

So the week before last, while I was figuring out how I will conduct my business, I looked at many photography websites, especially those catering to newborns, babies and young children.

When it came to my bio, I debated whether or not to include a photograph of myself. When I looked around, I found only a handful of photographers without photos of themselves and thought I might as well, even though my initial inclination was not to display one on the site. I felt that I was advertising my work as a photographer – did it really matter what I looked like….?

When I showed the site to my husband, his first comment was, “I don’t think you need your photo”…

I stopped…. annoyed (not at him), that it ALWAYS seemed that when I thought something and did the opposite, maybe I should have done what I was initially going to do. I went on to explain to him that almost all the photography websites I checked out included photos of the photographers and added that it did make sense to me, that a parent would want to see who was photographing their children…. Wouldn’t I??

Maybe a note about my husband would be helpful… He grew up in France, and is for the most part, French… Culturally European (and West African… But the focus here is the European). He then made a comment about Americans…always thinking about their own navel….as if they are the center of their own Universe…. Now.. he’s not the only one who said this – I showed the site to a neighbor of mine – also European and she also asked about my photo.  I chuckled!  Now I’m really  beginning to think it’s a crazy American thing… (side note: I am in no way bashing Americans – I am only pointing out and interested in discussing cultural differences…)

So after some thought I went with my gut… and took my photo down… for now… until I have one that I’m happier with..

But what they were saying complimented each other – my husband was talking about his noticing this culture where we don’t debate topics that stray far from ourselves.  Instead of talking about “Malcolm” (his example), we focus on our lives…  I mean… could my blog be in that category… probably…uh yes… even though I try hard not to..

My neighbor’s comment was particularly concerning if one thought what the had to say was so interesting that we had to share with other people.

Now, I know many people NOT on Facebook and many not concerned with letting others know about their daily ins and outs in what others think, but I don’t know if it’s a purely American thing… It could be an artist thing…  I mean when you work for yourself and write or act or dance or promote yourself, it’s hard to stray from that because YOU are your “brand” – YOU are your own bread.  It could also be a product of our society… “iPhone” “mobile ME”…. “iPod” “iPad”… our everyday products focus on ourselves…

There’s a fine line between just enough me and too much me… but it can be annoying or frustrating maybe to meet people who are constantly thinking about me, myself and I.  We require so much attention these days.  What would be do if we shut off the twitter and Facebook… it seems so rare to have a telephone conversation these days… so much is done by text and I’m not excluding myself (although I’m working hard NOT to make this about me).

I would really like to hear what people think… Are you a perpetrator of constant navel-gazing?… be honest… OR do you avoid it like the plague and attempt to participate in discussions about things other than yourself?

 

The Stuttering Photographer and Elizabeth Halford

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Starting a business is hard. You have to think about the ins and outs of how it will function.  In the beginning it’s just you – so there is much more to think about and you write lists and there’s advertising and marketing to think about.  Maybe even investors!  THEN – if you’re a SAHM, you have to figure  out your business plus your family life!

It’s enough to drive a person mad!

All this before you’ve even thought about how you’re going to actually approach people, because let’s face it – it’s so much easier to just sit behind a screen and type / edit away (I mean I am a playwright) – but there is something about person-to-person interactions… (they’re rare in this day and age).

With that said, I was really happy when I came across Elizabeth Halford, an American photographer living in Great Britain.  Her blog has been quite helpful as I think and create the intricacies of my new baby photography business (Like us on Facebook / GarBaby’s Photos – Shameless plug…).  Elizabeth has ptosis and does “Vlogs” on YouTube.  After “Vlogging” for a while, she received a lot of questions about her left eye (video below).

After watching Elizabeth’s video, I mentioned her in a tweet!  I understood absolutely everything that she was saying!

You see – I stutter – I have since I was 5 and well, it’s just a part of my everyday life.  Living as a person who stutters has had an absolute effect on the way I think about things and interact with people.  It is so innate, that some of my behaviors might seem unorthodox to others, even though they make complete sense to me.

Here are a few examples:

  • I rarely introduce myself and if I am in a groups of people, I will wait for someone else to say my name.
    • This may give the impression that I view myself in such high regard that I need to be introduced, and while I do have pretty good self-esteem, I certainly do not think I am above telling another person my own name, I’d just rather not take 25 minutes to do it.
  • I switch words in the middle of sentence if necessary.
    • If I can think of something that is easier to say, I’ll say it.  For example, I prefer “spectacles” over “glasses” – the Glottal “g” is not one of my better sounds (and with a name like “G”arlia – you wonder why I don’t introduce myself often…).
  • I prefer not to argue.
    • Any sort of confrontation is hard and I avoid it like the plague … WHY?  Because arguments are quick and people say things sharply that sting… but I normally come out of them more frustrated because I never actually said what I wanted because maybe I word-switched or just gave up.  The more stress / Frustration, the more I stutter… the more anyone who stutters will stutter.
      • I have witnessed James Earl Jones not argue… and he stutters.. that is his way to keep everything under control…

If you watched Elizabeth’s video – she talked about not letting your “thing” (ptosis, impediment, etc…) stop you from sharing your gifts with the world.  She spoke about how God made you who you are and that is a wonderful gift to share with the world.

Her words meant a lot to me.  And while I have never let my speech get in the way of doing what I need to do, maybe it was a boost for me.  It certainly is a wonderful message that I thought was important to share.

The Stuttering Photographer and Elizabeth Halford

2 Comments

Starting a business is hard. You have to think about the ins and outs of how it will function.  In the beginning it’s just you – so there is much more to think about and you write lists and there’s advertising and marketing to think about.  Maybe even investors!  THEN – if you’re a SAHM, you have to figure  out your business plus your family life!

It’s enough to drive a person mad!

All this before you’ve even thought about how you’re going to actually approach people, because let’s face it – it’s so much easier to just sit behind a screen and type / edit away (I mean I am a playwright) – but there is something about person-to-person interactions… (they’re rare in this day and age).

With that said, I was really happy when I came across Elizabeth Halford, an American photographer living in Great Britain.  Her blog has been quite helpful as I think and create the intricacies of my new baby photography business (Like us on Facebook / GarBaby’s Photos – Shameless plug…).  Elizabeth has ptosis and does “Vlogs” on YouTube.  After “Vlogging” for a while, she received a lot of questions about her left eye (video below).

After watching Elizabeth’s video, I mentioned her in a tweet!  I understood absolutely everything that she was saying!

You see – I stutter – I have since I was 5 and well, it’s just a part of my everyday life.  Living as a person who stutters has had an absolute effect on the way I think about things and interact with people.  It is so innate, that some of my behaviors might seem unorthodox to others, even though they make complete sense to me.

Here are a few examples:

  • I rarely introduce myself and if I am in a groups of people, I will wait for someone else to say my name.

    • This may give the impression that I view myself in such high regard that I need to be introduced, and while I do have pretty good self-esteem, I certainly do not think I am above telling another person my own name, I’d just rather not take 25 minutes to do it.

  • I switch words in the middle of sentence if necessary.

    • If I can think of something that is easier to say, I’ll say it.  For example, I prefer “spectacles” over “glasses” – the Glottal “g” is not one of my better sounds (and with a name like “G”arlia – you wonder why I don’t introduce myself often…).

  • I prefer not to argue.

    • Any sort of confrontation is hard and I avoid it like the plague … WHY?  Because arguments are quick and people say things sharply that sting… but I normally come out of them more frustrated because I never actually said what I wanted because maybe I word-switched or just gave up.  The more stress / Frustration, the more I stutter… the more anyone who stutters will stutter.

      • I have witnessed James Earl Jones not argue… and he stutters.. that is his way to keep everything under control…

If you watched Elizabeth’s video – she talked about not letting your “thing” (ptosis, impediment, etc…) stop you from sharing your gifts with the world.  She spoke about how God made you who you are and that is a wonderful gift to share with the world.

Her words meant a lot to me.  And while I have never let my speech get in the way of doing what I need to do, maybe it was a boost for me.  It certainly is a wonderful message that I thought was important to share.

Harlem WHA!… 21st Century Blackface

All this talk of Yahoo and Mommy-life, I completely missed the “Harlem Shake” business over the last few weeks.

I actually ignored a suggestion from YouTube that I watch a Harlem Shake Video… It looked pretty silly to me.

But after running across a Melissa Harris-Perry link, I checked it out…

(beat)

Seriously…

(clearing throat)

My guess is that I’m not supposed to be offended by this and that it’s all in “good fun”… right?

Shouldn’t I just lighten up?

That’s what one side of my brain is telling me – while the other side is … appalled – offended – maybe even horrified.

I’m apologizing for being on a soap-box (Catholic Guilt again….), I don’t want to be the person who rants all the time…. on the other hand, this “Harlem Shake” business looks absolutely ridiculous.
I’m just going to pretend that the Producers of the “Today Show” and every other news channel and show that spent airtime promoting this nonsensical display of 21st Century Blackface were the ones who forced their anchors to behave in such a manner.

To the college students on the airplane that made it on ABC news… I might have to just brush it off as college student behavior…

But to watch professional adults shake their bodies in a manner that seems to be mocking the real dancers of Harlem / Urban areas, I just can’t watch. It’s too much…

Looks like Blackface to me…

cropped-the-day-poster-20042.jpg

Even if there are white dancers in Harlem doing this dance, they surely embody it’s spirit, whereas the non-urban and predominantly white versions (except for the Miami Heat version YouTube promoted) seemed like jerky versions of the original. It was awkward and as bad as when I let people call me an OREO…

I can’t dignify this with more space on my blog… time to go read a board-book!

1 year… 3 lines

Last year, I subscribed to Baby Center’s updates and allowed their app to send weekly notices of my child’s progress.

While I find the app pretty thorough, I normally ignore it – not that it doesn’t have valuable information… I just don’t always have the time to read it, but I do like having it.

But I digress — the message below popped up on my phone on my daughter’s birthday…

20130223-225540.jpg

If only this last year could actually be summed up in 3 lines.

But I can try…
“Congratulations! You’ve just made it through one of the most exhausting years of your life – only 17 more to go!”

Or

“Congratulations! Your Life as you know it is Over!”

OR

“Congratulations! You’ll never go to the bathroom alone again!”

OR

“Congratulations! Privacy is a thing of the past!”

… You get the picture!

But in all seriousness – nothing beats this first year- watching someone literally grow before your eyes is such an amazing gift that I am more than honored to experience!

I wouldn’t trade it for anything!

1 year… 3 lines

Last year, I subscribed to Baby Center’s updates and allowed their app to send weekly notices of my child’s progress.

While I find the app pretty thorough, I normally ignore it – not that it doesn’t have valuable information… I just don’t always have the time to read it, but I do like having it.

But I digress — the message below popped up on my phone on my daughter’s birthday…

20130223-225540.jpg

If only this last year could actually be summed up in 3 lines.

But I can try…
“Congratulations! You’ve just made it through one of the most exhausting years of your life – only 17 more to go!”

Or

“Congratulations! Your Life as you know it is Over!”

OR

“Congratulations! You’ll never go to the bathroom alone again!”

OR

“Congratulations! Privacy is a thing of the past!”

… You get the picture!

But in all seriousness – nothing beats this first year- watching someone literally grow before your eyes is such an amazing gift that I am more than honored to experience!

I wouldn’t trade it for anything!

Just As Black

I’m a playwright – 6 years ago I would have called myself a director…and maybe a poet…

In fact, this blog could stand as an ode to Black History Month, but to me it is more about identity.

“Discovering” my blackness in a world that was predominantly white took time, but ultimately the self-acceptance proved positive.

Identity was and still is a large part of my life. Besides  always being able to identify as a woman (daughter, sister…), I could also identify as a person who stutters and now wife and mother.

The poem below is part of “The Day I Found Out I was Black” – It’s the first poem in fact…

Keep in mind it was written at a time of growth… growing into my identity and dealing with issues I had encountered in the past.

Identity is an evolution.

Nonetheless, I know there are other young Black men and women who are still dealing with similar issues so this is for them…

Come to think of it, adults may face this “Just as Black” ideal at work… maybe you don’t quite fit into the mold of what your co-workers consider black… or asian… or whatever your ethnicity.  We have all carved out our own identities these days – expanding upon what our “race” is “supposed to be”.

Let me repeat Identity is an evolution.

During Oprah’s interview with Shonda Rhimes, Kerry Washington and “the real Olivia Pope”, Judy Smith, I believe it was Kerry Washington who spoke about her character, Olivia Pope, sort of transcending race.  Yes – we see her as a successful Black woman, but she is also a successful woman.  She is good at what she does and it is nice to see her race not always be a major part of that.  Something Ms. Rhimes does well in all of her television shows, I might add.

So for all of you breaking down barriers and not defining yourself by your race… this is for you…

____________________

Just As Black poem copy