Category: Moving

Moving through “The Sadness”

So far, the time in the new apartment has been good for me.  My spirit has been renewed and I have, for the most part, gotten out of my rut.

But today is different.
I feel the sadness knocking at the door. 
As sun-drenched as my apartment is, today feels like a more internal day.  It is on a day like this that I am grateful for the playroom and the non-tiny apartment.
I am grateful not to be living in a cave anymore, so it doesn’t seem as bad.
It might be exhaustion – literally… I have been working so hard on the new apartment that there are days I barely sit down (not to mention our last chair is on the verge of breaking).  
I actually have a good time just moving about the house, baking, cooking,  cleaning, playing with the kids and doing a decent amount of daydreaming.
The sadness creeps in when I feel as if I need to be doing it all, and let’s face it – I live in New York and the moms who look like they do it all are everywhere, so it is nice to remember that you don’t.
This article made a coincidental appearance on my Twitter feed as I was writing this, so it felt right to share.
So I’m going to take a little break today… less obligatory housewife and more meditator, more relaxed … me.

First Day at a Fresh Start

Tuesday was my first day alone with the kids in the new apartment.

My mom was here from Detroit for what was supposed to be a week and what turned into a month and now we are basically settled.
[So many more blanks to fill here…to be covered later…]
I have been dreaming of this apartment for a few years and being here is one of those feelings where one wants to make the best of it.  
I don’t want to spoil this situation.
I finally have the office I have been striving for and my children have a real playroom which doubles as my daughter’s room or vice versa.
The more I am here, the more I realize the physical depression we were living in.
The first major change is light.  The new apartment is sun-drenched, and with this light I find myself physically renewed to start each day with nothing but productivity.  
So far that has meant keeping up with cleaning, but it is something that I enjoy here! 
I am also finally committed to dealing with my life as a pack-rat…hoarder…or whatever term you might use for someone with a lot of stuff.  To date, in our new home, I have donated bags and bags of goods, clothing, etc… and all I can say is how good it feels to be rid of things I have been carrying around since high school at least. 
I hope to encourage others to let go as well or to explore why they might be holding on to un-needed things through my own examination.
This will likely reveal many layers that I have been covering over the past decade at least.
As always, Thank You for reading and following along, no matter how much time has elapsed.