How much is too much: Facebook at 10…

With Facebook turning 10, we have a unique opportunity to examine what has happened to our lives over the last decade whether we use the social media site or not.

The NYTimes is even collecting 150 words or less about your experience for a future post.
It is without question that Facebook has changed our daily lives.  From the way we make announcements to the way we get our news.  I will admit, that since the dawn of Twitter, I find Facebook’s newsfeed too cluttered.  I would rather not see long dissertation status updates on a daily basis, and prefer the quick status updates and real important news that is much more accessible to me on Twitter.   Twitter’s 140 character limit is ALWAYS such a relief. 
This begs the question, How much is too much? 
After 10 years, Facebook has made me a much more private person.  Which begs the questions, Why private?  Wouldn’t you want to share every waking moment of your life for everyone to see???

Well… No.  

But I wasn’t always this way.

I began Facebook like many in the beginning, it was about college, friends and events on campus.  It was all very private as shown in the image below.  We owned our information.  PERIOD.  Then we graduated from college, so grad school or jobs and travel adventures were being posted, and then the weddings….. At one point, the babies started, but it wasn’t like now… Now it’s babies and bellies.
Don’t get me wrong.  I love seeing the baby photos and the belly photos of my friends and people I went to high school and college with.  It keeps me connected and maybe gives me a false sense of friendship, which is pretty much what Facebook is about… A False sense of Friendship and intimacy with a great deal of acquaintances.  
The repercussions of all of this sharing is a feeling of comparison that many might have.  It may be no different than fitting in or attempting to fit-in as we might have done in high school.
If Jane is getting married, why haven’t I?  Or Have you seen Shauna’s new house!?
Need I go on… It’s contagious.  Facebook stalking is a part of our everyday lives, whether we do it consciously or not.
For the longest time, my husband refused to go on Facebook and is now on with no image or personal information.  We are not listed as married and I respect his wishes not to blast our private life all over the web.  My eldest brother is actually the same – no personal photos or information.  They are both in IT and so from both of their points of view, something like Facebook is pretty dangerous.  
Over the course of 10 years, a lot has changed, and thanks to Facebook, your decade or less is summed up in a lovely video tribute.  I love the idea, but for someone who loves details as much as I do.  So much is left out.  
No one wants to re-live photos of exes, so it seems common place to complete obliterate that relationship from your pages if it finished before a marriage or civil union.  So while the videos are a lovely tribute for Facebook they are not necessarily the best representation of everyone’s 10 years or less.
But it’s the thought that counts.

What do you remember about  “the facebook” when it first began?

Dinner with Baraka

Before I was a mother, I was a mini-revolutionary. I say was, because I currently feel as if my politics are lost in a world of Elmo and potty-training…  That is another story for another post, but after the loss of such a great writer in early January, I have been trying to form the most appropriate words to honor a man who’s work encouraged my own in the theatre and a man who later encouraged me personally, Amiri Baraka.

April 21, 2008 – Amiri Baraka – Cherry Lane Theatre

I feel fortunate to have had a few meetings with Amiri Baraka over the last few years in the city.  They were not at necessarily political events, nor did I experience a “militant” disposition.  I found Mr. Baraka a very kind and gentle soul. He was encouraging and funny.

The first time we met was April 21, 2008 following a Master Class he gave at Cherry Lane Theatre, where his Obie-Award winning Dutchman premiered in 1964.

There was so much he said that evening about theatre and working at the time that he had experienced.  I wrote down so much of what he said that night.  I guess his comment about Broadway Theatre being mundane was from a revolutionary mindset, but Broadway isn’t for everyone…

I learned a lot from him that evening, many things I had read in books, but hearing these words from the man himself was a completely different experience.  He spoke about being able to grade your own work, and having to be a little arrogant to be an artist.  The theatre is an exciting place and he knew that one could not write about boring topics and use boring language.

He spoke about working with music in one’s work, and being intrigued by words coming out of people’s mouths as a playwright, which is different than what happens with his poetry.  He also spoke of leaving the village [downtown, NYC] after Malcolm X died.

He referred to the race issue in Dutchman as more of a class conflict

I sat next to an older woman and we chatted a bit before he began.  I mentioned to her that I began writing because of Mr. Baraka.  She knew Mr. Baraka and when he finished and there was the opportunity to shake his hand and say hello, I went up.

I had no idea what I was going to say.  Plus, I stutter, so who knew what was going to come out!  Luckily, my new friend that evening, Vinie Burrows, made the introduction.

April 21, 2008 – Amiri Baraka –  Playwrights Master Class at Cherry Lane Theatre 

The next thing I knew, the 3 of us are at dinner in the area.  I don’t even remember if I ate.  How could I have ?!  Dinner with people that literally paved the way for what I was doing in the city.  Hard for some to believe, I know: but I did a lot of listening and not much talking that evening.

Mr. Baraka had given me his card that evening and I promptly emailed a Thank You.

I was more serious about my daily journal in those days.  Some of my notes from that evening were:
[…] I am on the train [home], it is 10:55pm – Amiri Baraka took me to dinner.  There are few people I’d be geeked to meet or who would turn me to tears… there was a moment when I almost started crying…it is so true about the serenity in my life.

“Advertisements” – he called my small plays. […]

Over the months and years that followed, I felt fortunate to be on his email list and receive a few encouraging exchanges about getting my work out there.  I was even told that he commented about me and my reading series once, which to a young playwright in this city, where many can feel swallowed whole, means a lot.

I was lucky enough to meet his wife, Amina at a production of The Toilet that I wrote a review for during the summer of 2008.  We had another interaction follow the grand funeral of Dr. Barbara Ann Teer of the National Black Theatre.
The news of his death was sudden to me as it may have been to others having not known he was in the hospital.  Some might say that we are to accept death as natural once a certain age is reached, but that doesn’t change how one feels when it happens.  No one is prepared for death and I feel we have lost a great writer and thinker who was still very active in his own Newark, NJ community.  
Mr. Baraka and I were a bit out of touch after I married and began a new life as a wife and mother, but I was thrilled when he met my husband at his Jazz Series this past fall.  He was there to support his friend, Charles Tolliver.  I emailed Mr. Baraka in October and received his usual thoughtful yet short reply, congratulating me on our daughter, and that was it… our last correspondence. 
I am not blind to the controversy caused by much of Mr. Baraka’s work, but that is not necessarily the man I met.  I had directed his work, both staging poems and a production of Dutchman with the Black Theatre Group I founded at Indiana University, Black Curtain, (on a predominantly white campus, no less).
The Black Theatre movement was because of this man and as a Black Playwright, it is important to know his work and to know the work that spans beyond theatre, as he was a Beat Poet prior to his work as a playwright.  A favorite college English Professor of mine, Dr. Margo Crawford,  really turned me on to the Black Arts Movement and I will be forever grateful.  Dutchman was one of my first introductions to LeRoi Jones as a playwright while an undergraduate theatre student at Indiana University.  
I was able to meet and spend time with one of the people that gave me the inspiration to continue in the theatre as a playwright.

Death does not change one’s past.  It further solidifies one’s legacy, and Baraka’s past is a colorful one to say the least.  I was under the weather the weekend, of his wake and Funeral.  I was very disappointed I could not attend, but I honor him here and will never forget how he touched my life.

No matter what anyone has to say, Amiri Baraka was a brilliant writer and a unique voice for his generation and the ones that followed.  He will truly be missed.

Happy Black History Month 2014


4th Trimester Bodies

Pregnancy is without a doubt life-changing and body-changing…  No pregnancy is the same (learning this time around for sure!).

Women constantly have this pressure to be super skinny and “perfect”.  The media obsesses over people like the Kardashians and Beyonce, their waists, their behinds… their everything!  Not to mention Beyonce’s latest Grammy performance was a little too….   (You’ll see if you google it).  One article I read said she was so proud of her post-baby body and her sensuality… she wanted to…

Anyway…

My friend Hillary and I went to college together.   We were in the African American Chorale Ensemble together under the direction of Dr. James E. Mumford and we were just good friends.  She helped me organize my big HIV/AIDS Benefit Concert I had in 2006, and she is an amazing woman , which is something I’ll say about the women in my life (why else would they be there…)  Hillary recently became a doula!  Not to mention she has an amazing singing voice!
Plus! She had a baby over the summer!

I could go on… but I think you get the picture!

Hillary recently participated in the 4th Trimester Bodies Project.   That’s her with son Holden above!
The project is about embracing your post-baby body.  The good news is that they are going to be setting up shop in New York between March 27-30th.
What are your post-baby body stories? Are you happy?  Wanting a change?  Breastfeeding?  Not Breastfeeding?  How do you let your body define or not define who you are?


Super Bowl Sunday – Corned Beef and Cabbage

Growing up, a tradition in our family on Super Bowl Sunday was to have Corned Beef and Cabbage from Mr. Fofo’s in Detroit.  

To clarify, the Corned Beef was from Mr. Fofo’s (which is sadly closed), and my mom prepared the entire dish in a crock pot.

We weren’t necessarily a sports family, we watched the game, attempting to follow along and enjoying the half-time show.

I’ve never attempted to make it, but just the thought of it with yellow mustard makes my mouth water!  I think a trip to Katz’s Deli is in my future!

I found his recipe in my search for a photo… This is the most beautiful presentation of Corned Beef and Cabbage I have ever seen (no offense, Mom!)

This Corned Beef and Cabbage Recipe is from Elise Bauer

What are your family traditions?

Impromptu Dinner… and Dessert!

Thursday was crazy and I didn’t post a thing (but I have a good excuse), – so you got 2 yesterday and 2 today… (maybe 2 a day now always… We’ll see)

Lucky you!  Lol
Thursday, upon the request of a dear friend to cook a surprise birthday dinner and dessert for her neighbor and close friend, (a woman I also know and love), my daughter and I quickly got ready and met her at Whole Foods! (I told you I had a good excuse).
It was so fun!
We bought what she didn’t have, and I commenced cooking almost immediately upon entering her apartment.  It turned out that the neighbor and her family were going to dinner, so we just did dessert as her surprise, instructing her husband not to order dessert at the restaurant.
The kids still needed to eat (3 under 4), so I made dinner for everyone and dessert.  My husband joined after work with the wine… French… (he’s French).
I’d never tried a chocolate cobbler, but boy oh boy, was I happy I did!  
It was quick and easy!  Prepped in about 15 minutes and in the oven for only 30 minutes.
It was so hot that the candles were melting when we put them in!  We served it warm with multiple ice cream choices!  DELICIOUS!!!
My go-to recipe site is allrecipes.com… but I always love others… What are yours?
I’ve pasted the recipe below!
Ingredients:
  • 6 tablespoons butter 

  • 1 cup self-rising flour 

  • 3/4 cup white sugar 

  • 1 1/2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder 

  • 1/2 cup milk 
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract (I used almond extract)

  • 1 cup white sugar 

  • 1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder 

  • 1 1/2 cups boiling water 

Directions:

  1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Melt butter in an 8×8 inch baking dish while the oven preheats.
  2. In a medium bowl, stir together the flour, 3/4 cup sugar, and 1 1/2 tablespoons cocoa. Stir in milk and vanilla until smooth. Spoon this batter over the melted butter in the baking dish.
  3. Stir together the remaining cup of sugar and 1/4 cup cocoa powder. Sprinkle over the batter. Slowly pour boiling water over the top of the mixture.
  4. Bake for 30 minutes in the preheated oven, until set. Serve slightly warm with ice cream.

Have you every cooked an impromptu meal for more than just your family?  What did you make?  Share the recipes!

Do you have any quick desserts?

Happy Weekend baking… And for those of you us in the U.S.  Happy Super Bowl weekend!  This Ooey gooey chocolatey goodness will be a hit at any party!